Pilgrimages

Over the past 8 weeks I have learned so much, both specifically and generally. Specifically, one thing I learned about which I think is very interesting is the four greek levels of love: storge, philia, eros, and apague. Storge is a word meaning affection that one might have for a family member. Philia is more of a friendship, a loyalty to friends and family or the love one has for a city or nation. Eros is more of a passionate love, not just of someone physically, but also emotionally. Lastly, apague is a selfless love that you have for another. You would do anything for that person, even if it meant giving up your life. I really liked learning about these different levels of love, because in our society I feel like we use the word "love" so loosely and it is nice to have levels that differentiate it. 

In VHS, I have also learned general life lessons which will be helpful in the future. In a way, this class has taught me that I need to chill out! With senior year comes a lot of stress and frustration. I know that I will be getting rejected from different colleges and accepted into others, but in the end it really does not matter. Either way, no matter where I end up going, I will get a good education and I will enjoy the next four years of my life. Even if I do not get into my first choice school, I am so lucky that I even have the opportunity to go in the first place, because a lot of people do not even have that. I am not planning on having a huge senior slide or anything (yet) but I have learned that school is not everything and I need to enjoy myself because you are only a senior in high school once. I need to spend time with friends, family, and everyone or everything else that I care about and have an equal balance.

Marriage and Vatican II

There are several similarities and differences between the teachings on marriage from Vatican II and current trends in marriage. In the article, they call marriage a "vocation" and I believe that the saying has less meaning in current day marriages than it once did. It used to be that a husband and a wife would almost never get divorced, and now it is much more common. There are different celebrities getting divorced almost every single day. The article also mentions that the Church benefits from the love in marriages. This is probably because the husband and wife will hopefully have kids and raise their children in a good environment with the church and follow Jesus as an example. "The call to love reaches beyond the home, to the extended family, the neighborhood, and the larger community." When Pope Benedict spoke about marital love and family life, he mentioned that marriage is not fleeting, but rather a life long project. When two people are married, they should spend the rest of their lives together- even if problems arise, current day society advocates trying to work through all problems. Although this does not happen a good amount of the time, I believe that it is still thought to be the right thing to do. The article also says that the bond between husband and wife will "grow and ripen" over time. I definitely believe this is true, because the more you go through life with someone, the closer the bond you will have with them. Although there may be some current trends that don't exactly go along with Vatican II, there are many principles that still remain intact.

Love and Music

There are several qualities and characteristics of love that people seek to experience in dating or committed relationships. Some examples are trust, loyalty, friendship, and comfort. I personally would like to be in a relationship with someone that I feel comfortable with and can totally be myself. I do not want to pretend to be someone who I am not just to impress somebody, because then I am giving the wrong impression and changing myself just for another person. I also would want the person to be confident in himself and who he is as a person- I would not want somebody pretending to act a certain way just to impress me.

Many songs display characteristics that people are looking for in relationships or in a spouse. Home by Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeroes is a song about how two people are not truly at home when the other is gone or away. They need each other and are best friends, they complete each other. "Home, let me come home, home is whenever I am with you." Here (in your arms) by Hello Goodbye talks about how two people enjoy all their time together no matter what they are doing, and always enjoy each other's company. The Reason by Hoobastank also displays qualities that are displayed in relationships: "I found out a reason for me, to change who I used to be, a reason to start over new, and the reason it you." The lead singer is basically saying that he wants to change himself, for the better, all because of one other person. Lastly, Somebody to Love by Jefferson Airplane (NOT Justin Beiber!) talks about when everything is going wrong how it helps to have somebody there by your side, to help make it better. Tears are running, They're all running down your dress, And your friends, baby, They treat you like a guest. Don't you want somebody to love? Don't you need somebody to love? Wouldn't you love somebody to love? You better find somebody to love. 

I am not sure whether I believe in a quest for a soulmate or not, because I think it is too early in life to tell. I usually go with the flow most of the time, and believe that what happens happens. However, I always believe that things happen for a reason so I guess in a way I sort of believe it, but I am not exactly looking. If it is meant to happen, then it will happen. 

Marriage

I have had a fantastic experience with my family, or domestic church, throughout the years. I love my mom, dad, and (sometimes) brother. They are all so funny and supportive of my hopes and dreams and as am I of theirs. Whenever I am upset of angry about something, they make me feel better and cheer me up. 

There are several pros and cons to the changing structure of marriage in the 21st Century. It is now much easier for parents to get divorced, even if they shouldn't be. They made a promise for life, so unless it is a really serious issue, I believe they should stick to their promise. Also, people are now getting married much later in life than they once did. In a way, I think this is a good thing because men and women could have a better chance at starting their career and getting financially stable before marrying another or having children.

I am happy to hear that people with a college degree are less likely to get divorced or have multiple marriages. It makes me feel more confident in my education and shows the education has many uses other than academics. I'm not sure if I will get married in the future. It really depends on what direction my life is going. Although I believe marriage is a great thing, I believe that a common law marriage is also fine. As long as you have a financially and emotional stable relationship with a significant other, that is also great. 

Dating

I do not believe that dating prepares people for divorce. I think it actually would make a marriage stronger if people had more experience with dating. I say this because when two people are together, there are bound to be disagreements and arguments along with good times and memories. However, if a couple can work through their disagreements in a calm and mature manner, I think it will be beneficial to either of them in the future. Marriage is all about compromise, so the more experience you have with it, the better you will be at it; on the other hand, if you are going out with someone and you have heated arguments about insignificant issues and decide to break up time and time again, I could see how that might lead to divorce in the future. But, for the most part, I think dating would be beneficial towards marriage. Some other reasons for dating is you can have a companion and somebody who will hopefully be there for support in tough times. It is a way to practice caring for someone other than yourself and giving to another person or just being there for another person in general. Unfortunately, I really do not know that many people who actually "date" anymore in my life. They may hang out at a persons house or something, but none of my friends are really going out to dinner or a movie or anything like that. Dating and "hooking up" are two completely different things. Hooking up, for the most part, is a one night or one time kind of thing and it usually does not mean anything. Because of this, a lot of people end up getting hurt if they actually did like the person. Dating is when two people like each other and they want to see what will happen. I think dating definitely requires more confidence than hooking up.

Traditions and Marriage

I agree with many points mentioned in the article. A lot of women expect men to propose in a romantic and creative way. They expect it to be a surprise; however, I believe that men and women should talk more about marriage because it is a big thing. They also go to huge extents to plan enormous "fairy-tale" weddings. And it is not just women who have harmful expectations- men do as well.

I do not think my parents had the typical engagement or marriage. When my dad proposed he did not get down on one knee; instead, he handed my mom a box and said, "I think you know what this it." And, they did not have a huge marriage, they got married in the rose garden in the Morris Arboretum. Their engagement and marriage was more practical, which is a good thing.

Wonderful Gift and Awesome Responsibility

There are several themes in the article which I was familiar with. For example, they emphasized how it was a big responsibility. If you are sexually active, you should be prepared both financially physically and emotionally for a pregnancy. It should also be with somebody who you truly love and it should be a bonding experience, not just an act for physical pleasure. Obviously, they also promote chastity until marriage, and no sexual intercourse for gay or lesbian couples.

Some new aspects which I learned from the article is that they looked at intercourse in two different dimensions. The unitive dimension talks about sex as an expression of vulnerability. A two-in-one bonding experience this dimension also relates to marriage. The second dimension is the procreative dimension, which is pretty self-explanatory. Although I knew about both sides, I did not know how the church looked at each of them. I knew about the latter, but did not really think about the former. They also mentioned that if a married couple does not want kids they could "make use of the infertile time" which I thought was pretty funny.

There are themes that I think should be talked about, but were not mentioned in the article. For example, I know that the church does not agree with methods of contraception, but I feel that they should at least be mentioned more than they were. I also think it would benefit them to mention something about sexual predators for young children and teach the younger children that if something inappropriate happened to them that it is a huge issue that cannot be ignored because a traumatic experience like that can lead to later problems in life if it is not addressed. It also mentioned that the two persons should have a "stable relationship" but did not go as in-depth and explain what a stable relationship is. For example if a a man and a woman are married and have kids, and one of the parents is abusive, I would not call that a stable relationship. But they are married, so everything is okay right? NO! I think that the church should address that and make the meaning of a "stable relationship" clearer.